The Christmas Poem Collection: Christmas Poem 2008

Poem from 2008.

T'was a good year for health care, when in Target we shopped,

Alex tripped Jubilee and unconscious she dropped.

The ER was fun, so we returned the next day,

When Dylan dislocated his thumb during play,

Andres graduated and back to Ecuador he roamed,

Jacquelyn also graduated but she just came home.

Our new garage is a studio, smile and say, "Cheese!"

The vehicles sit outside so in the mornings we freeze.

Then the good times with Pulte suddenly stopped,

Sean now works on satellites that monitor rocks.

He writes out reports and takes samples of lead,

While the kids tell everyone he is an astronaut instead.

When what to our wippie soaked eyes did transcend?

Jubilee using the potty?

Our 7 years of diapering has come to an end!

The Boston's are multiplying, we have puppies each year,

And when Andres went home, Bloopy, the beta stayed here.

Life should be rosy for mommy right now,

But mommy had to drop out of her Master's program to work full time teaching preschoolers

who have the attention span of Jell-O and now she's too tired to and busy to bask in the lucid patterns of the unemployed day, let alone...

Sorry.

Quicker than Easy Mac the kids change and grow,

Dylan's 8, Jubilee's 3, Alex takes piano.

Jubilee can argue, Dylan wants MP3's,

Alex has 2 girlfriends, Oh, it's doom we foresee.

"Do your homework!", "Clean your room!" ,"You know bedtime is 8!"

"No gum till your 12", "There's still veggies on your plate"

"Get out of that tree! You're stuck? Oh well."

"Go ask your father why our dogs have no tails."

This year's brought us closer, closer to what I'm not sure,

But with Faith, Love and Patience, a New Year we'll endure!

Merry Christmas!

The Gavin Family

2008

The Christmas Poem Colletion: Christmas Poem 2007

The poems for 2005 and 2006 were either never written or they were lost.

Here is our family Christmas poem for 2007.

T'was a year for additions in household and dogs,

We acquired eight Boston's, Andres and Tom.

Sean was euphoric, he'd built his garage,

It holds all our junk, now we can't fit the cars.

The money ran out before the driveway was poured,

The kids ride their bikes on half concrete half boards.

Dylan's in 1st grade and Alex Pre-K,

Mommy takes pictures of Jubie all day.

Three kids are pleanty, a unanimous fact,

So Sean got "the surgery", and that took care of that.

When over the rooftop there arose some balloons,

Jubilee watched her binky fly off to the moon.

And what tidbit of info did Sean make quite clear?

Jacquelyn's nine years of college has procured no career.

But the end is in sight for Jacquelyn's B.A.

Spanish II and Algebra then graduation in May? (yay!)

So away to Ojai we went to relax

We un-wined and we dined, Pulte picked up the tab.

Our skin's a lot softer, we had time to rest,

First Hawaii then Ojai, we're feeling quite blessed!

Our sippie cup overflows, we have more than we need,

More mess, more debt, more chaos, more weeds.

Quicker that lightning the days come and go,

How we get through them, alive, I don't know.

"Help Sean!" "No Jubilee!" "Dylan and Alex, don't yell!"

"Jeeves, spit that out!" "Bijou, what is that smell!!?"

"Don't make me come in there!!" We shout till we're blue,

But in our indoor voice we say...

Merry Christmas to You!

2007

The Christmas Poem Collection: Christmas Poem 2004

In the year of 2004 at a family Christmas party, we were all challenged to write our life to the tune of a Christmas song as part of a game. This launched a yearly tradition for our family, and since 2004, we have been writing a song or poem every year at Christmas time. I thought it would be fun to share these past poem with you. While reading back through them, I personally forgot that half this stuff even happened! So for your enjoyment, here is the poem that started it all. Read in the style of "T'was the Night Before Christmas", here is The Gavin's poem for 2004.



T'was a fight over Sean's mess, cause all through the place,
Drywall was flying, walls were erased.
The couch was now stuccoed, the Dry Waller gone,
All that remained was chaos and Sean.
The bathtub was burried in the backyard with care,
The unfinished projects loomed in the air.

The children were growing too large for their beds,
Dylan whacked AJ over the head.
While Jacquelyn sold Fabtech and Sean barked commands,
To all of the framers working his land.

When in frount of Lot 18 there arose a loud clatter,
Sean threw his Nextel and leaped over a ladder.
And what to his bloodshot eyes did he see?
But an oversized forklift atop his Chevy.

The insurance paid, he rebuilt his truck,
With a sigh he proclaimed, "Now my truck dosen't suck!"
So away to LA we flew like a flash,
To the searing hot laser and the depletion of cash,
Our tattoos are fading, but there's an absence of noice,
Our minds are now racing, "Who's watching the boys?"

With so many grammies, some wrinkly, some thick,
We forgot for a moment which Grammy we'd picked.
More rapid than lightning the days and events came,
Each one needing a sitter, or chain.

To counceling! To Taekwondo! To T-Ball! To class!
To dinners! To churches! To mentoring! Alas!
Our apologies for leaving now, but in a hurry we are,
Merry Christmas to everyone, can you please move your cars?

The Gavin Family
2004

The Wal-Mart Baby: Chapter 11

In September of 2010, just as Summer's dad seemed to be making significant progress, things began to change. We were certain that he had began using drugs again, just by the looks of him, and we kept talking to Summer's social worker about out concerns. 

It seemed like everything was moving forward in dad's favor. Finally one day, Summer's social worker confidentially told me that CPS knew what was going on. This helped relieve some of our anxiety because Summer's 6 month hearing was scheduled for October of 2010. 

This was the hearing that would award Summer's dad with weekend visits and begin the reunification process. We were afraid of Summer spending the weekend with her dad, especially if he was back to using drugs. 

Shortly before the October trial, I arrived at the CPS office for Summer's visit with her dad, only to find that he had been arrested and returned to jail. Summer's aunt, however, begged for the visits to continue and so Summer saw her aunt every week instead.

At the hearing in October, dad was unable to attend because of a transportation error and so the trial was postponed to January 2011. 

All the while we began to feel hopeful because dad only had until April of 2011 to have his reunification plan completed. We knew there was no way that he could complete it but we were nervous about how many chances CPS might give him when he got out of jail.

Then a new challenge presented itself. 

We found out that the aunt was now fighting hard to get custody of Summer, with dad's full support. He must have felt that his chances were very slim in getting Summer back so he began petitioning the court to give Summer to his sister, a true blood relative.

Then one day I get a call from CPS notifying me that someone had filed a complaint against me saying that Summer was being abused, neglected and that I was using drugs.

This meant that CPS was going to have to conduct a full investigation. I had to address all 7 of the complaints that were written in the report. To prove that Summer was not being neglected, we were required to take her to the doctor and have the doctor sign off on that charge. I had to testify at the next hearing and answer questions about my education and career and background, as well as explain to the court how Summer got each and every bump and scrape that the "anonymous caller" had reported. CPS also had to come out and reinspect our home and update everything.

We were very upset and we knew that it was Summer's dad or aunt that had called in the report because they complained that Summer had a large "gash" on her foot which proved that she was being neglected. The only two people who had witnessed a rub mark on Summer's foot from her sandals, was aunt and dad at a visit one day. 

The silly part was that the 7th item mentioned on the report was my drug usage. Why that wasn't a top priority to the person filing the report is a mystery to me.

The family had been doing everything in their power to discredit us, and now they had begun lying. 

We soon found out that even Summer's mom began to petition the courts to give Summer to the aunt. The court asked the aunt why she did not come forward way back in November of 2009 when Summer's permanent placement was being decided. 

Auntie claimed that she was never notified, and that the previous CPS worker had tried to dissuade her so the court agreed to inspect her home and consider her for permanent placement.

We were very nervous. And Summer's auntie confidently and openly began voicing her future plans for Summer.

Knowing the advantage that a family member has over a non-relative, Summer's social worker called us and urged us to file for De Facto status for Summer. She told us to do it right away and it might help sway the outcome. We were very thankful for that piece of advise because we did not even know what this process was.  The social worker all but signed the form for us and we turned in the paper work just in time for it to be brought up at the next hearing. De Facto status is something that you can file which states that you have an emotional interest and bond with the child and you are telling the courts that you are the acting parent. It gives you the right to be privy to all court proceedings involving that child, even if they are placed in a new location. This status would give us credibility in the courts eyes and allow us to keep track of Summer if she did get placed with the aunt. 

At the next hearing, the judge instantly awarded us De Facto status without us even having to elaborate on the request. This was a small victory and it would aid us in all future court decisions because a De Facto parent has almost equal status as a blood relative. 

When the trial came in January 2011, we were prepared to hear the court decision regarding aunt's petition for placement. 

Like previously, Sean and I were asked to leave the court room while the family spoke to the judge. When we were called back in the courtroom, there was a lot of crying. Auntie was sobbing, dad was teary. Sean and I looked around trying to read by everyone's face what had happened.

The judge announced that auntie had withdrawn her application and the termination of parental rights would take place in May 2011. 

We were absolutely astonished but ecstatic.

We attended the 2.6 hearing in May 2011and it was moved to June 2011 so that Summer's dad could attend. He was released from jail and was frantically trying to complete his year long program in 4 weeks, without CPS footing the bill. 

Summer's mom miraculously popped back into the picture again and began attending visits, as well as parenting classes. These folks had 4 weeks until they were going to loose their daughter and they were scrambling to make a good impression.

When the June 2011 termination trial finally came, Sean had to go alone. I had to attend a mandatory training and so I was in agony all day, awaiting Sean's texts with the proceedings. 

It didn't take long for the judge to officially terminate the parental rights of both the mother and the father and any other fathers that might come forward.

It was official!!!! 20 long months of emotional turmoil, family drama and court dates were finally over.

That was the most beautiful text that I ever received, Sean telling me that all parental rights had been terminated. 

Summer was now an official orphan, a ward of the court, and she was officially free to be adopted. Ironically I was attending a training with Cristal when I received the news and we hugged and cried and marveled at the awesomeness of God, Cristal knowing first hand how unbelievable and wonderful it all was!

So here we are now. 

 November 2011. 

 No CPS visits. Only an occasional email from auntie requesting pictures of Summer.

We had joked about changing her name to Summer Dae (Summer Day) since she was a baby, but we began to seriously consider a name change if and when her parental rights were terminated. I loved the name Emma and it was very close sounding to Summer. We decided that for her own safety, changing her name would be a wise decision. We began calling her "Emma" as soon as her worker said it was OK to do so. We decided to keep her middle name of "Leanne" as a tie to her past. The name "Emma" means "complete" and that is just how we felt with her in our family. 

It did not take very long for us to all fall into a habit of calling her Emma, but she still answers to Summer too. Usually she will argue with you if you call her Summer, she will say, "I'm not Summer, I'm Emma!" However she will also say, "I'm not a stinker, I'm a booger!"

We are not her official parents yet but Emma was transferred to the adoption unit, she received a new adoption worker and the request for a homestudy was submitted. The homestudy will be in depth background check that every adoptive parent must go through. It typically takes 3 to 6 months and it consists of in-depth interviews and screenings. We had a moment of panic wondering if CPS could access our old records and see that we had to terminate the previous homestudy back in 2009 because of Mr. Spoon, but miraculously, CPS is swamped with homestudies right now and so they outsourced it to a outside private company. 

It appears that even Mr. Spoon has sunk into the sea of forgetfulness. 

When the parental rights were terminated, Emma's parents had 60 days to appeal the judgment in an outside court, and they did. 

An appeals process will only look at the facts that were given while a CPS care was underway, so if they win the lottery and can now hire nannies and buy a mansion, that new information will not be looked at. The appeals process checks to make sure that the family was given due process all along. CPS assures us that an appeal is never granted. 

Yet an appeal will take approximately 6 extra months so the hearing and the homestudy should be finished around the same time, hopefully in April or May of 2012. After that, we finalize the adoption and Emma Leanne Gavin will be ours.

Until then, we meet with the adoption worker once a month and we just live life with Emma as our daughter.

Are we worried that we may fail the homestudy? Yes.

Are we out of the woods yet? Not quite.

Have we seen the last of Summer's biological family? Probably not.

But I know the God we serve and I know that the same God that has taken us on this incredible journey, through impossible odds, clearing the way that we could not see, will finish the work that He has started and he will never abandon us. 

God pulled Emma out of a horrible cycle of destruction, sin and death. God has a plan for her and we are excited about the future. Perhaps God will one day use Emma to go back and testify to the rest of her biological family.

Who knows.

But I do know that God has promised the inheritance of salvation to our children and we are standing on the promise that Emma's life will be a testimony to her Loving Savior and that she will always be a beautiful vessel in the Master's kingdom.

The Wal-Mart Baby: Chapter 10

During the Summer months of 2010, our family settled in to our new routine. 

It wasn't too difficult to transition from 3 kids to 4 except when it was time to go places like the grocery store. I refused to be one of those families who push 2 carts through the isles. We would just eat less from now on.

My tiny commuter Kia seated 5 but we looked like a clown car whenever I took the kids to school on my way to work and we all piled out. There was no room for the kids stuff on the floor so they had to pile it all on their laps!

Summer's health improved and she was a very social baby.

I worked part time and took Summer to see her mom at the CPS office on my days off and Sean took Summer to see her dad on the weekends at his rehabilitation home. 

October 8th loomed before us, the day of the 6 month court review. If dad was showing enough progress he would begin having custody of Summer on the weekends. This terrified us. We would not have let our own children walk around the block with him, but now we had to give up defenseless Summer for the whole weekend to this guy? Yes, he was her dad biologically, but he had never been in her life long enough to even know how to take care of her! He attributed a lot of her problems to the fact that as a baby, she had 'swallowed too much amniotic fluid'. We saw more of his immaturity as he graduated out of rehab and was awarded longer and more frequent visits with Summer. The way he talked and the things he said he wanted to do with Summer, frightened me. 

As a way of "facilitating the parent-child relationship" I always gave Summer's dad copies of the pictures I took of her. Soon Summer's dad planned too put her into pageants and modeling and live off the profits. I think Sean tried to have some man-to-man talks about the kind of job he planned to get but her dad made it clear to Sean that he had no intention of ever working, he was thrilled that he would be receiving disability his entire life for his mental illnesses.

Summer's mom stopped showing up to visits after the first few weeks, so her visits were canceled.

One day when I took Summer to visit her dad, there was another woman sitting there with him. Dad's sister, Summer's auntie. This was the first time I had ever seen or heard of her, she had not been involved in Summer's life, to my knowledge, until July 2010. Soon she became a regular relative in Summer's life, as she accompanied her brother to every visit. She seemed nice enough and soon she began bringing her boyfriend along, Summer's "uncle". They both lavished Summer with attention, took lots of pictures, and participating in the visit more that her own dad did. They were wonderfully kind to Jubilee, winning her affection right away. However there was a subtle undercurrent and I remained cautious around them, current circumstances considered. There were just little things she said and did that made me defensive. Whatever tiny injury Summer had, Auntie noticed right away and would sweetly mentioned it to the CPS worker, or confronted me directly about it. She did not have children so she was really naive in her critical analysis of my parenting skills. I really hated having to explain things to her that would be common sense to a mother, especially since she would just stop listening in the middle of my explanation and begin talking to Summer, dismissing me entirely. 

I dreamed of slapping her.

Instead I just started making up random stuff to tell her when she asked me questions.

Meanwhile Summer was fitting in at our home. 

 She started her preschool career with a bang....or a bite. 

After repeatedly biting the same Asian child next to his eye, her preschool suggested that we expose her to different color and types of people. I thought it was ludicrous to accuse Summer of being racist!

The little Asian boy just looked....chewy. 

Right before Summer got expelled, her "unofficial therapist", Cristal suggested that we buy her an electric toothbrush to chew on at school. This would give her the sensory input she was craving in her jaws, and sure enough Summer's biting stopped. 

She did go through a few stages at home that nearly drove me crazy. 

Summer began screaming. Usually while I was trying to drive. I almost got into several car accidents that month because she would just scream out of the blue whenever she saw something she wanted, which was usually a soft drink cup in the front cup holder. She would continue to scream the loudest scream humanly possible if she did not get what she wanted. She even screamed when she was happy about something. So she was pretty much doing it all the time.

I placed several frantic phone calls to psychologists and her social worker for resources on stopping this horrible behavior before I needed to be committed myself. 

My panic seemed to come in waves when dealing with Summer, and this was definitely one of the times that I was rooting for Summer's dad to get better so she could go home. It was perfectly clear that I was not able to cope with a child who had such extreme needs. God must have know this because the screaming only lasted a short time. 

Just in time for a new habit.

She learned in Sunday school the Jesus loved her so that information consumed her and she forgot all about her screaming. Instead she would repeat the same dialogue over and over and over again, every time she was in the car. 

The first hundred times, it was absolutely adorable.

It went like this.

Summer: Mommy!!??

Me: What?

Summer: Daddy!!???

Sean: What??

Summer" JESUS LOVES MEEEEEEEEEE!"

Sean and Jacquelyn: Aww that's wonderful Summer! 

Silence for a half second.

Summer: Mommy!!??

Me: What?

Summer: Daddy!!???

Sean: Silence.

Summer: DADDY!!!???

Sean: WHAT!?

Summer" JESUS LOVES MEEEEEEEEEE!"

Jacquelyn: WE KNOW! That's wonderful!

Sean: Yay.

Summer takes a breath.

Summer: Mommy!!??

Me: Uggg...

Summer: MOMMMMMYYY!!!????

Me: WHAT!!!!???

Summer: Daddy!!???

Sean: What.

Summer" JESUS LOVES MEEEEEEEEEE!"

Jacquelyn: Buh buh buh buh buh buh buh.....

Sean: I'm glad somebody does Summer....

Repeat.

The beauty of this was driving over 300 miles a week with Summer and her new found religion.

 

In September Sean and I booked a quick trip to Kauai to celebrate out 10 year anniversary. Unfortunately Summer was not allowed to leave California so we really had to make a gut wrenching decision and we truly had no choice but to......

leave the kids and.....

Go alone. 

It nearly killed us as you can imagine.

The day that we left, we took Summer to see her dad before we went to the airport. 

He had missed his previous visit which was unusual.

Auntie wasn't with him today and he looked horrible.

He appeared to be covered in chickenpox! 

His eyes were glazed and Summer refused to go to him. She clung to Sean and cried. 

Summer's dad didn't try to take Summer or anything, which was unlike him. Normally he would be covering her in sloppy kisses before she was even out of my arms, but today he just walked away and flopped down in a chair in the CPS office and sat there looking at Summer with sad eyes. 

Something was very wrong with him.

I nervously explained to her dad that we were going out of town and that my mom would be taking care of Summer while we were away and that perhaps Summer knew that and so that was probably why she was crying and clingy. I tried again to hand her off and she refused to even look at him! Summer clung to me and wailed. 

I sat back down and rocked and shushed her. In an effort to calm her down, I said, "It's OK, Summer, we'll be back in a few days. We're not going to leave you..." 

All of a sudden Summer's dad began to cry and in an uncommon and surprising show of maturity and clarity, he told us, "Please promise me that you will always be there for her and that you will never leave my baby girl alone! She has had enough of that." 

We did not know it at the time, but this was the beginning of the end for Summer's dad. With only one month to go until his 6 month hearing, Summer's dad had began using drugs again.

The Wal-Mart Baby: Chapter 9

We were ecstatic that Summer was placed with us in April of 2010, but the chances of her being reunified with her dad was still very high. We just decided that we would enjoy her for as long as she was with us.
The next court date would be a 6 month review in October of 2010. This would be the court where dad would have completed his classes and rehab and begin having Summer on the weekends. Mom was not being considered for reunification but she was still allowed visitation. The CPS time-line said Summer would be living with her dad by April of 2011.

                              April 25, 2011                                            

In the first week of her being placed with us, we realized that Summer was very sick. She also had 2 bumps on her leg. It looked like it was shot spots but they turned into large knots and they were hot and dark red. Summer was also crashing into everything and rubbing her ears and she just became more irritable as the days went on. 

I decided to switch her to a new doctor and take her in for a visit. 

The first doctor we took her to, looked at her leg and said it showed all the signs of a dog bite! I told him our dogs do not know how to bite and if it was a dog bite, wouldn't there be puncture marks on the underside of her leg too, not just 2 spots on the top? I notified him that our dogs were the kind that had top and bottom teeth. Apparently doctor's don't like patients who are smarter than them, because this guy didn't even answer me, he just kept lecturing me about pet safety and he wrote "dog bite" down on her chart! The big problem with this is every doctor we see has to submit a report back to CPS. There was no way I was letting this quack tell CPS that Summer was bitten by our dogs. We walked out.

The next doctor we took her to was a keeper. He found out that Summer was a very sick little girl and she had been suffering with double ear infections and tonsillitis. They also figured out that Summer's shot record was forged and there was no clear indication that Summer had even been vaccinated! They had to start all over again with her vaccines and a new shot record. The best guess at the spots on her leg was infected shot punctures, certainly not a dog bite.

Summer was so sick in the first few weeks that she missed some visits and she went to the doctor several times. She also had a rash on her cheeks that would flair up when she got food or saliva on her face. She came with several different creams but nothing really worked. Especially since Summer always had something in her mouth and she drooled alot so the rash was always there.
We began taking Summer to her CPS visits with her parents, and even though they couldn't take care of her, nothing we did was ever good enough for them. The rash was our fault, she supposedly did not have that when she was in the foster home. They wondered why she was always in different clothes. When it was hot, they said I dressed Summer too warm. When it was windy they wanted to know why I didn't put a sweater on her. The asked tons of questions about why she was sick, and questions about why I put her in sandals without socks. Aside from having no fashions sense, they finally went off the deep end when they accused us, of all people, of cutting Summer's hair.

Part of our job was to keep notes on how Summer acted when she was with her parents. We had to photograph every bump and bruise and write an explanation. We had to document every parent phone call or visit and forms had to be submitted for every doctor appointment. Summer didn't have a baby book, she had a file.
We also had to make an itemized list of all the things that Summer came with and we had to make sure none of those items ever got lost. I certainly did not want to keep track of all the shapes that went with her birthday shape sorter and we did not want to have to count all her socks so we bagged up everything she came with and put it in the garage and we just bought her new stuff or used the clothes people had donated.

Even though we didn't know how long Summer would be staying with us, we still wanted to have her dedicated at church. We didn't involve CPS or her parents in this ceremony because no one ever told us not to give her to God, CPS just said she couldn't leave the state! Besides I could argue that belonging to God was always in the best interest of the child. So Summer was dedicated at Spirit and Truth Worship Center in May of 2010. 

                            Pastor Tom Copple                                                 

I went back to work and we enrolled Summer in a friend's Christian family daycare until she turned 18 months and could join the other 3 kids at their private school.

I wasted no time in photographing her, Summer responded so well to getting her picture taken! We took 1st birthday cake pictures of her and they turned out wonderful. We didn't know that when she did those adorable poses with her hand on her cheek that it was because she was in pain from her double ear infections during the photo shoot.

We quickly found out that Summer had an extremely high pain tolerance. She had skipped crawling in her obsession to pull up and walk. She was trying to stand alone at 7 months old, and run at 13 months.  However, her cognitive skills were not as advanced as her gross motor skills. This resulted in Summer having the ability to climb great heights but she did not have the understanding to be careful. She once scrambled onto the back of the couch in a few seconds and then walked right off the edge.

Summer was not talking when she came to us. We didn't know if this was because she spoke Spanish or not. Miss Teresa would come over and sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" in Spanish to her and she would light up, but Summer never spoke words, English or Spanish. We had her assessed and she was functioning at a 7 month level in her language so we began teaching her sign language.

She picked up on basic sign language very quickly and before long, she was talking, but before she could even begin therapy, she no longer had a language delay.

                              Signing "All Done"                                                       

Knowing that Summer still had parents who were fighting for her and knowing that she wasn't even an orphan, made me, personally, refrain from bonding with her. I certainly cared for her the same as my other children, and I told her I loved her, but I treated her more like a child I was babysitting. 

I envied Sean because he seemed to love her while holding nothing back and the other kids immediately called her sister, but I was much more cautious about getting myself attached to her. I had always been concerned with her basic needs and wanting to see her in a secure and safe home, but I didn't feel like she was mine to love. She already had a mom.

Even though everything had come about so miraculously, I was still not fully convinced that this was the baby God was going to allow us to adopt. It still seemed impossible. 

Part of me didn't think that God would bring us this far to have her taken away again, but you never know.
Maybe God was just using us to minister to Summer's unsaved parents or maybe He was allowing us to see what the adoption process was all about. Maybe having her permanently wasn't His plan for our life at all...Only God knew. I was just trying to be emotionally OK with whatever His plan was.

I wished I could let myself love her like my own children. I sometimes imagined what I would say or do differently or buy if I knew that she would be staying with us forever. 

If she was staying forever I would buy trundle beds for the girl's room. 

At this point it was just too risky to buy trundle beds and it was way too risky to fall in love with Summer.

Summer came with some weird eating habits too. She did not chew and she would not stop eating. We had to monitor her intake. The first day she was eating while sitting on my lap. I had a burrito on my own plate and I was preparing to feed her baby food. While I was concentrating on getting the baby food onto her spoon, Summer stuck her hand in my burrito, yanked out the middle with her fist and swallowed the whole thing in one gulp.
She could also eat Flaming Hot Cheetos with no emotion.
Summer had a medical history packet and we saw that because she had Shaken Baby Syndrome, she needed more MRI's. I called the hospital to see if I needed to schedule those but the specialist said that she was fine and didn't need any follow-ups. She was not showing any lasting effects whatsoever.

Sean and I constantly marveled and praised God for how healthy she was considering all that she had been exposed to, in the womb and out.

It was clear to everyone that God had His hand on her but one day we realized the magnitude of the miraculous.

Summer was born in April of 2009. 

This was the exact month that we had begun praying and believing in faith for God to keep our future adopted baby safe.

Our faith and hope was renewed after God showed us that He had been working in the background and protecting Summer since the day she was born and we didn't even know it!

                                   May 2010

The Wal-Mart Baby: Chapter 8

On April 23, 2010, after the judge ordered that Summer be placed with, court was dismissed.

As we made our way out, we were suddenly surrounded by all the different lawyers. It was like we had passed some sort of initiation because suddenly everyone was friendly! 

The smug CPS lawyer grinned and congratulated us. 

Dad's lawyer threw her arm around my shoulder and apologized for being so "rough" on me earlier. She even went so far as to give me her business card with the invite to call her if her client ever got out of hand. 

Summer's social worker came up and let us know that because it was nearly 5pm, they would let Summer's foster mom have the evening to pack up her stuff but I was to be at the CPS office in Victorville the next morning at 8:30 am to pick up Summer and sign papers. 

The judge said that Summer's parents would each be given 1 supervised visit a week for an hour each. As part of the parents reunification plan, CPS would transport the parents to the CPS office and back and give them free gas cards and bus passes so they could attend various classes and visits. It was our job to facilitate the relationship between Summer and her parents and support them in their recovery. We would have to bring Summer to the office twice a week and wait around for an hour while she had her visits.

We found out that Summer's lesbian aunt did not pass the background check so that's why she was not able to have Summer placed with her.

We left the courthouse in a happy daze, we still hadn't grasped the fact that this had really truly taken place! Cristal hugged us and rejoiced with us because she knew first hand everything that had transpired, and she was as amazed as we were!

Before we left the parking lot, Sean and I sat in the car for about 10 minutes texting and calling everyone who was eagerly waiting to hear the news.

"We got her!!" we texted over and over.

I was beginning to feel dizzy thinking of all the things we had to do before the next morning. We had to first drive up the hill in the rain, go pick up our kids from daycare, get home, make dinner, and oh yeah... have a baby tomorrow.

This wasn't quite as bad as the first time around as far as collecting stuff goes, Summer would have some personal belongings with her the next day, but we still had to get her a dresser and a crib right away. However, once people started finding out she was coming home, we got offers of clothes and the crib. We picked up our kids that night after court, skipped dinner altogether, and drove around that evening picking up stuff for the next day. Smack in the middle of that evening, we got a call that an old friend had passed away and the executor of his estate was in town and needed to come over and go over paperwork with us that night too.

We were exhausted by the time we finally got to go to bed. 

I told myself this was my last night of sleep for a while. I remembered how badly Summer slept before and I predicted that we would be sleep deprived as Summer adjusted to a new schedule all over again. Yet I couldn't sleep because I kept thinking of all the stuff I had to do the next day. 

I had to call my boss and take some days off work. 

Summer needed to be enrolled in daycare or preschool right away.

I would have to rearrange my whole work schedule to fit the CPS visitations.

And the list went on. Little things too. Like buying more hangers!

On top of it all, the next day was Dylan and Alex's Bike-a-Thon at school starting at 9am. I had wanted to watch them ride, but now I couldn't. The boys didn't mind though, they were excited that Summer was coming back.

I had to drop the boys off, along with their bikes and helmets and knee pads, before heading over to CPS and then rush back to pick the boys up because it was also minimum day and Sean had to be at work so he couldn't help at all.

I didn't have 4 kids yet but I sure did have a headache.

The morning of the 24th, Jubilee and I got the boys settled at school and we headed over to CPS. I was anxious and excited to see Summer again. We wondered what she looked like now.

Finally, through the window, I saw a Hispanic woman about my age come in carrying this little, blonde toddler and the woman was crying. 

That must be them.

I couldn't believe how much Summer had changed! She was very lean and she was already walking. She was wearing a lavender track suit and her hair was really short with a little clip on the side. She had a horrible snotty nose and a rash all over her face. Her foster mom just kept crying and crying. 

A CPS worker took us all back into a room where the girls played with toys and I signed the placement papers. 

I asked the foster mom questions about what Summer eats and her doctor appointments.

Foster mom said that Summer has eczema and she had just gotten her shots the day before so she had a little cold. She said Summer takes a pacifier now and she sleeps through the night without a bottle.

Sweet.

Foster mom kept crying and she told CPS that she didn't understand why Summer had to leave so quickly. She was mad that she only had one evening to pack all her stuff and say good-bye and she wanted to keep Summer until dad got out of rehab. According to her, CPS lied, and just because she wasn't ready to adopt, CPS was punishing her by taking Summer away. Foster mom kept switching back and forth from English to Spanish as she talked.

I began to worry that maybe Summer only understood Spanish now. 

Great, one more thing for my list..learn Spanish.

It was abundantly clear that foster mom did not like me. I'm sure she had heard about us from Summer's birth parents, whom she adored. 

CPS made her unload her car and help me put all of Summer's stuff into our truck. Foster mom had all of Summer's birthday presents still in gift bags and she warned me that her dad had spent a lot of money on them so I better not loose any of it.  She also told me that she didn't have time to do the laundry on such short notice, so she handed me a big bag of dirty clothes.

Finally it was time for her to say good bye and hand Summer over. She did not want to let her go and I really felt bad for her. She had been taking care of Summer for over 6 months, and I had only known Summer for 5 days, so my heart went out to her. I gave her my phone number out of sympathy and told her she could call to check on Summer anytime.

(Note: In the days that followed, this foster mom did call me a few times but we stopped taking to her when it became apparent that she was still in contact with Summer's birth parents and she was trying to get personal information from us. Months later I saw a teenage boy in the CPS office that Summer immediately recognized and approached. The boy wouldn't talk to Summer, and he jumped up and left the room. His guardian told me that Summer was the boy's foster sister and the home they shared was so bad, the boy had ran away, leaving the other 5 children there.)

I buckled Summer in the car and we drove away. Jubilee was delighted to have Summer back and this time Summer rode in her car seat without screaming because she was happily sucking on a Binky. 

Thank you Lord.

We rushed back to the school in time to see the last few minutes of the Bike-a-Thon, but I realized that I had no stroller.

I forgot babies ride in strollers.

I had no diapers either. Foster mom said she had not had time to buy diapers or wipes (on such short notice) so she had none to give me.

I carried Summer over to where the boys were and sat her down in the grass.
I waved at Dylan and Alex as they rode by.

"WAY TO GO GUYS, WOOOO!!!"

I glanced down and Summer was gone.

Oh crud.

I found her on the other side of the lawn, about a hundred feet away. That girl is fast! 

I gave her my water bottle to hold and she promptly yanked the lid off and poured it all over herself.

I moved her to the very center of the grass where she managed to trip on a tree root and fall on some curbing.

Summer began to scream her head off. 

"Shhh! Shhh!!  I picked her up and jostled her as I frantically cooed. "Ahh, poor little..uh poquito bambino... It's muy ok..."

She cried harder.

Cps said we had to document any injuries and here we were, 20 minutes later with our first incident. 

Great.

I could feel other parents staring at me.

Time to go. 

I take Jubilee's hand as we walk almost a mile to the boys individual classrooms. Alex can't find his bike. We walked all over the campus before we finally found it.

Then another mile back to where the truck was parked. Each boy had to wheel his own bike to the truck while carrying his backpack and gear, so they were whining like girls. Jubilee begins to cry that her legs hurt but I can't carry her because I'm trying to carry Summer, who is also crying. I kicked myself again for not thinking to bring a stroller. I should have been more prepared to have this baby.

Sniff. Sniff, Sniff.

"Ugg...you guys what's that smell?"

And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, Summer pooped.

Our new chapter had begun!

The Wal-Mart Baby: Chapter 7

Summer's new placement trial was scheduled for April 23, 2010. 

By this time, Summer had been in foster care for 6 months and she would be turning 1 on April 19th. We had been reading the rules and regulations for CPS and it said that a baby under the age of 2 had to be permanently placed by their 2nd birthday, so as slow as everything seemed to be moving, the process was actually moving along much faster than it would for a child over the age of 2. 

CPS had just one year to transition Summer out of her current foster home, put her in a new home, rehabilitate her parents and then place her permanently with a family. 

By the morning of April 23rd, Sean and I were a nervous wreck. All of our prayers and the prayers of others had brought us to this day and after today, we would finally have an answer..or closure.

I made sure to bring all my documentation, the letter mom had written me originally, and all the dates and events that had happened. I had no clue what I would be testifying about or what questions they would be asking me, but I knew from watching Judge Judy that I would probably have to show receipts and documentation and maybe even photographs of the damages!

Once again, Cristal came with us and we sat in the waiting room with Summer's dad. He was showing off pictures from Summer's 1st birthday party and talking about all the toys he bought her. He talked about how the foster mom let him have the party at her house and he just couldn't say enough great things about the foster home Summer was staying in. He told Cristal that he had a car once but he sold it to a guy for $40 to buy diapers. (!!) He said he was now in a rehab house and as soon as he got out, he was taking Summer. He said foster mom was going to keep Summer for a few more months until he got out. Even though I knew he was full of it, my heart kept falling as I heard him talk about getting Summer back. It was too hard to imagine him taking her and the life that she would have in his care.

Summer's mom wasn't even there and her lawyers kept coming out looking for her. We didn't see any other relatives. I wondered why the lesbian aunt wasn't there to appeal for custody of Summer too.

A CPS lawyer came out and called Sean and I into the hallway. 

He was a fairly young guy and he was quite self-assured. He minced no words when he asked us who in the world we were and where did we come from. I tried to briefly explain how I knew Summer but he kept interrupting me. By the sardonic look on his face, I could tell he didn't believe my answers and the more I talked, the more he scoffed at us. What possessed you to take this baby home? You have only known her for 5 days and now you are claiming a relative status? What is your personal interest in this? Do you already have kids? Do you think that she is up for adoption? Don't you know that her father is probably going to get custody of her soon? 

The lawyer told us that he represented CPS and he would be making his decision today based on the best interest of the child, so he just wanted to meet the "relatives" who were being considered for placement so he could make a recommendation on behalf of CPS. The lawyer told me that he would be calling me up to testify and to be ready.

Back to the waiting room. 

Another hour and we were all called into the courtroom. 

I saw that we had the same judge as before. 

He is an older man, as most judges are, but we heard that he was a very bad judge for birth parents. In fact, birth parents did not like him at all because he was extremely strict and he didn't give too many second chances. We were thrilled to see that he would be deciding our case but he was still very intimidating. He didn't seem to possess a lot of patience and he was very short in his responses to the lawyers too.

After everyone had given their names and reasons for being there, non-family members were asked to leave. Sean, Cristal and I got up and trudged out into the hall. 

We tried to be really quiet so we could hear what was being said but the walls were too thick. After a long time, the bailiff opened the door and called me, and only me, into the courtroom to testify. Sean and Cristal had to wait outside!

I somehow made it up to the chair on the right side of the judge and I swore to tell the truth. I looked out into the courtroom and there were so many people! I saw reporters, lawyers, social workers, stenographers, and bailiffs along with Summer's dad and other people on phones and computers. Everyone's eyes were on me.

CPS began the questioning. 

They asked me to tell the court my name and how many children I had. 

I told them, "My name is Jacquelyn Gavin and I have 4 children".

Silence.

Papers shuffling.

The stenographer stopped tapping and looked over at me with her eyebrow in the air.

Gasp!!

"I am a mother of 3!!!!" Not 4!!!...3!!!! Oh my gosh...I can't believe I said that" I said.

I began to panic.  

I swore to tell the truth and my first answer was a lie! Would they have to strike this from the record or something??? Was the stenographer writing all this down? Was she going to type O-M-G? Was CPS even going to consider giving me another child now when I didn't even know how many children I had!???

Just as I began to faint, the judge looked down on me and said, "Were you including your husband, Mrs. Gavin? Men sometimes act like children".

Everyone in the room laughed and that wonderful judge signaled CPS to continue their questioning.

They asked me to tell the courtroom how it was that I came to know Summer.

I shuffled through my papers to get my dates correct and I took a deep breath and then I just started from the beginning. 

As I began to tell the story, my nervousness went away and I felt really calm. A hush seemed to settle over the courtroom as I told everyone how I found Summer. I was able to be completely honest without feeling awkward because Summer's mother was not there. Part way through the story, Summer's dad put his head down and began to sob. He did not know any of this had happened because he was in jail. I could hear other people sniffling in the room and I saw tissues passing around. 

When I finished the story, CPS had no other questions for me.

However, the dad's lawyer had some questions and she was not sniffling. 

A Condoleezza Rice wanna-be stood up and asked me to look at her client, (the blotchy, blubbering man at her left?) and to tell the court if he looked like the type of man that would do all the horrible things Summer's mom allegedly accused him of in my story. 

"Uhhh..."

Talk about being put on the spot! How could I even answer that!?

I hesitated, choosing my words carefully, and then I told her that he didn't seem threatening but I still did not know him and so I could not possibly know if he had done all those things or not. 

Deep.

She then began to challenge my intellect even further by asking ask me irrelevant questions until I was completely confused. 

Just in time, the judge got annoyed and put a stop to her questioning. 

I was dismissed and escorted back outside the courtroom.

I collapsed next to Cristal and Sean in the hallway, berating myself for my faux pas in the courtroom. I couldn't believe that I blew the whole thing. 

Sean and Cristal said they could hear my voice through the thick wall and I sounded very calm and collected.

This was about the time that mom came strolling in. Her irritated lawyer came out and briskly escorted her into the courtroom, almost 3 hours late.

After a while, we were all called back in.

The judge asked Sean and I to stand up and he asked us if we were trying to adopt Summer. 

I said no. 

He asked us if we knew that the best place for a child to be is with their biological parents? 

I said yes. 

He then asked us what would we do if Summer was placed with us and then taken away again to live with her parents? 

I said that everything happens for a reason and we don't always know why and if Summer went back home, then we would be happy for her, but until that happened, we just wanted to keep her safe.

The judge told us to sit back down.

He had already asked each party's lawyer to stand up and give their recommendation so now it was time for the judge to give his verdict.

In front of the entire courtroom, the judge said that he could not imagine a better placement for Summer than in the Gavin's home. He can see that the parent /child relationship will be supported and encouraged and he feels confident that Summer will be loved and well taken care of. Right?

We both quickly nod. We heart birth parents.

The judge then ordered that Summer be removed from the foster home and placed with us that very day.

Then he looked directly at Sean and I and he said with such tender kindness, "I wish you and your family well, and in the end, if this doesn't turn out the way that you want it to, and if Summer is reunited with her birth family, I will be crying with you."

The Wal-Mart Baby: Chapter 6

In December of 2009 we passed our home inspection and we received our official certificate of approval.

It said, right on the certificate, that Sean and Jacquelyn Gavin were officially approved for the placement of Summer. Our heart skipped a beat because it was so exciting to daydream about Summer actually coming to live with us. We did not let ourselves get too excited though because we knew that CPS was inspecting other homes too.

Through all this waiting, we kept going back and forth on how far we should go to petition for her. We had mixed reviews from friends and family members. Some were already planning Summer's Welcome Home party while others were telling us it wasn't God's will. I tried to suppress my anger at the naysayers, because maybe it wasn't God's will and they had a clue and we didn't.

God had told me "I Know" and to settle myself down but he had not said, "OK". 

when I searched my motives, I honestly felt, that from Day 1, we had never acted, we had only reacted to the events that were taking place. I certainly did not want to be orchestrating something that God did not have planned for us. I knew what my desires were but I still wanted God's will to be done. I resolved myself again to not push it. If it happened, it would be God doing, not ours. So we just went on about our life and we just waited. Even though I wanted to call CPS everyday.

It turns out, we received a call instead. It was another worker assigned to Summer's case. She had me repeat our story again and she let me know that she was working on Summer's "reunification plan". This was a very detailed time line of what would happen before Summer turned 2. As a part of this plan, CPS would decide on a permanent placement for Summer, while the parents completed classes and worked toward the goal of getting their daughter back. CPS did not want to keep moving a baby  around, so Summer would remain in foster care until she could be placed in one permanent home.

From there, she would either 1. Go home with her parents, or 2. Be adopted by the family.

For this reason, the permanent placement home had to be perfect.

This home was responsible for supporting the birth parents in their recovery, they had to be willing to take the child to all visits, and be willing to adopt if the parents did not meet the requirements in the set period of time. CPS let us know that Summer's current foster family did not want to adopt her, because of her potential problems. If the foster family had wanted her, she would have stayed there for good. However they didn't so CPS was now going to decide who would be Summer's permanent placement family and it was currently a choice between us and Summer's lesbian aunt. CPS warned us that Summer's parents were both diagnosed as being Bi-Polar and they had other mental illnesses. They told us that Summer was exposed to drugs and they wanted to make sure that we knew what we were getting into before they considered us for placement. They reminded us that we could not change our mind years down the line if things became too tough.

We said we understood the risks and we were still interested in having her live with us and we would absolutely adopt her if the opportunity came.

The worker reminded me that family members had priority and she told us there was going to be a court date coming up but she told us not to bother to come. Nothing crucial would be decided at this hearing, she said. I asked her if we were allowed to go and she said yes but she emphasized that it was not necessary. Sean and I wanted to know what was going on though, so I decided to go and take Cristal with me for backup.

We can't remember the exact date of this court visit but it was in the first few months of 2010. That morning, Sean had to go to work and so I went alone. I was so nervous and my anxiety increased as I tried to get to the court house in San Bernardino, with the freeway closed. We were supposed to be there at 8am and I could see that I was not going to make it on time. I was freaking out and Cristal was trying to help me with directions.

  Sure enough, I was late and my hands were shaking as I signed in. On the sign-in sheet I saw that Summer's mom and Dad was there already. I had never met her dad and I was actually quite terrified to be making his acquaintance, having heard all the sordid details surrounding him. We all had to wait in a big waiting room and I tried my best to hide behind Cristal. Cristal knew both parents so when they saw her, they were excited, probably thinking that she had come to show her support for them at court. I shrunk into my seat as her dad came and sat with us.

Summer's mom, however, knew who I was and she knew exactly why I was there, so she avoided us and sat with her boyfriend.

Summer's dad had no clue who I was.

He wasn't near as scary as I had envisioned him to be. He was shorter than me, with a chunky build, and he walked with a rather goofy stride as he tried to hold his pants up. He chatted away to Cristal, fresh out of prison and full of bravado. He smirked and bragged. I knew now where Summer got her chunk-a-dunk thighs. Summer's mom could have been quite lovely, she had beautiful eyes which Summer inherited.

Dad glanced at me several times, no doubt wondering who I was and why I was with Cristal, but he never asked any questions.

I realized that just because CPS said to be somewhere at 8am, didn't mean they actually had any intention of calling us before 11am. For almost 3 hours I sat in anxiety, listening to Summer's dad talk about his exploits and waiting for the bailiff to call us back.

In the time I was there, Summer's mother put on quite a show for us. At one point she ran up to Cristal and said, "I just can't do this! I can't win her back! I'm just going to let her go." and she ran out of the room. Her boyfriend followed her out.

After a bit, she came back in, smiling.

Her boyfriend had told her to get back in there and get her kid. Mom was delighted that she had snagged such a sentimental guy. She beamed as she told Cristal and Summer's dad how thoughtful the new fellow was and how they lived in his car but that was OK with her.

She said at least this guy didn't BEAT her like SOME people did.

I assume this comment was directed toward Summer's dad because he mumbled something about women who DESERVE to get beat.

Finally we got the call back and we all trooped into the court room. I don't remember having ever been in a court room before and I was intimidated by how superior it all looked. I could hardly think straight and I sat down in the back before I fainted. The judge ordered all non-family out of the room and then later he brought us back in. It seemed like a decision had been made when we returned but the judge asked me to state my name and why I was there. Trying desperately to remember my name, I said something like, "Uhh...my name is Jacquelyn Gavin and I am a non-relative family member and I am here to request that Summer be placed with us as her permanent placement home."

It was silent for a second and then the courtroom exploded in disbelief and shock. I kept staring at the judge in confusion trying to gauge his reaction to what I had said. I could hear the gasps and murmur's all around me. The judge rolled his eyes way up into his head and then he threw his arms up in the air.

Uh-oh.

It was becoming more apparent that the judge and attorneys knew nothing about us. The judge stopped everything and asked for clarification from all lawyers. I don't know how, but CPS had never mentioned us in any of the court documents. The only one who was being considered for placement was the aunt. Now the court would have to set a new placement hearing because new information (us) had been brought to the table. I could feel the hatred coming from Summer's parents as her dad finally understood who I was. The court set a hearing date for April 23, 2010. I was ordered to appear and be ready to testify at this hearing.

Cristal spoke with both parents afterwards and tried to use her influence to tell them how awesome we were and how happy Summer would be with us. Both parents said they wanted Summer to remain in the same foster home, because 1. they adored the foster mom and 2. dad planned on getting Summer back in a mere month or so. 

They must not have heard the part about the foster mom not wanting Summer.

hello.

Mom was not participating in the reunification plan because she wasn't cleaning herself up but she still had a say in who Summer went to live with.

Dad had been following the guidelines that CPS had set up for him for a whole 2 days, and he felt that he had a good chance of getting Summer back once he completed his program. Dad told Cristal that he had nothing against Sean and I personally, he just didn't know us and he wanted Summer to stay with the foster mom.

As we left, the reality began to set in. If I hadn't of gone to that trial, we would have never even been considered! I was furious at CPS! How could they not have even mentioned us as a possible placement? Where did all the information we had given them go? Where was out placement certificate!? What had happened?

We still don't know.

But we did know that God had put it on our hearts to go to that trial instead of listening to the advice of that social worker. And we had certainly turned the tables over on what would have been a cut-and-dried placement plan!