The Wal-Mart Baby: Conclusion

Bleep.

Bleep.

Bleep-Bleep.

The long faced cashier, dressed in blue, rings up our purchases as Emma leans far out of the cart to swipe at the bag turnstyle on a busy December morning in Wal-Mart.

Bleep.

Bleep.

"My name is Emma Gavin." Emma proudly announces to the cashier.

The cashier glances up at Emma, looks at me and wordlessly resumes scanning.

She's impressed, I can tell.

Bleep.

Bleep.

If the cashier only knew.....

We finally got word that our homestudy would begin in December 2011 and it would be conducted by an outside agency. CPS was outsouring our file because of an internal backlog. This was great news because an outside private agency wouldn't have access to any of our past CPS records. (i.e.: Mr. Spoon).

 We began meeting with a new social worker who would come over and talk with us in 3 hour incriments, asking us every possible question about health, family, marriage, parenting, etc.... Over a period of 3 months, she came several times and interviewed each of us seperately.

When it came time to interview the children, we were nervous because it is no secret that they get spankings and so far we had skirted the topic of discipline. Dylan did well on his interview, as well as Jubilee.

When it came time to interview Alex, he glibly told the social worker that I "strangle him" and that Sean and I are mean to him, citing for an example the $100 train we refused to buy him. He continued to tell her that he works yet we pay him no allowance.

I almost dropped the pot of spagetti I was cooking as I listened in on his interview.

Alex continued his sorid tale for another 15 minutes and finished off by saying that he doesn't even like Emma.

I felt the blood drain from my face as I quickly debated my options for damage control.

Should I tell the lady that Alex has a mental dysfunction and the meds make him delusional?

Sould I laugh and blow off his answers without sounding desperate or guilty? 

I decided to just hold my peace, while shooting Alex death daggers via my eyeballs. The social worker jotted down Alex's interview with a smirk on her face.

 Every mistake and health issue anyone in our family had experienced was recorded, documented and analyzed until the last interview was completed and the worker left us alone in February 2012.

She would compile her findings and submit the entire "snapshot" to CPS for approval. In the meantime, Emma's CPS worker that she lovingly referred to as "grandpa" retired. Emma was assigned a new adoption agent who just happened to be the foster worker that represented Emma's dad back in the day. We were happy to see a familiar face and she was excited to see that Emma was now on the adoption side of the system.

 At the end of summer 2102, we were pleasantly surprised to hear that we had successfully passed our home study! A homestudy typically takes 2-3 months, yet ours took 8 months.

We were presented with a finished 18 page document that painted a historical, psychological and financial narrative of our life, as seen through anothers eyes. A few excerpt from document stated:

 "The Gavin family system is open to new experiences, organized, creative, and allows individuals to explore and develop skills and has a clear understanding of Biblical values that the family has established as their foundation...Summer could not have been placed in more capable or caring hands."

"According to Alex, he empties the trash bags, however, during this evaluators visit to the home, each child was helping with the trash duties."

"Jacquelyn is a vibrant thirty-xxx year old female who presents herself as "natural" with conservative casual attire."

"Jacquelyn had forewarned this evaluator that Sean is rather quiet, however, this evaluator found him to be an interesting, forthright communicator with a sense of humor."

After the hurdle of the homestudy, the rest of the process was smooth sailing...compared to what we were used to of course. Final documents were ordered and we signed official adoption papers in October 2012. It was very similar to a home loan. I even asked our worker what the interest rate would be.

The worker then took all the documents to court and called us back with our official court date.

November 13, 2012.

We were very excited to finally have a final court date. We were also excited to possibly see the same judge who's decisions had guided us through the process. We took a family photo, highlighting Emma, for everyone to sign as a keepsake.

We also planned Emma's Adoption Outfit, she would be wearing gold, like a princess.

 Everyone took a day off work and we planned for the big day as if it were a live birth... minus the hospital gown and weight gain.

We had much joy and thankfulness in our hearts, and we were still completely awed and humbled by the awesomeness of God and His ways.

November 13th dawned and we all rose early to be dressed and assembled in court by 8am. We were sad to see that our favorite judge would not be handling the adoption procedure but it was still emotional and special. We swore in court that we would keep Emma and that she would be our legal child. Then the judge allowed us to come up front and take a picture in front of the great seal of California.

We were over the moon happy as family and friends smiled up at us from the courtroom.

 

We celebrated after court with a party at our home, complete with friends, church members, family and neighbors coming in to share in our miracle. So many people....from neighbors that we had newly met, to family and friends who remembered the very first time "Summer" was ever mentioned. During the party, we watched a slideshow of pictures taken over the last three years. We reminisced. We cried. Then we rejoiced together as we basked in the fruition of our journey. Yes, it was a long road filled with uncertainties, victories and most of all.....paperwork, but God carried us through and brought us to a happy ending and a new beginning with Emma by our sides and in our hearts forever.

Bleep.

 I smile back at Emma in the cart, mentally forgiving the cashier for not comprehending the significance of Emma's announcement. 

....my name is Emma Gavin

So much history behind those little words. 

I take my bags, and the cashier briefly glances our way before moving on to the next customer.

She doesn't know our story. 

How could she possibly guess Emma is a miracle? Through her eyes, we are just an ordinary mother and daughter, sharing the same last name, shopping together.

But then my heart begins to sing... I suddenly realize that Emma's miracle is echoed back to me in the simple truth seen through the eyes of a stranger.   

Just an ordinary mother and daughter but ordinary is beautiful! Ordinary took 4 years to complete! We are just an ordinary mother and daughter but finally together on an ordinary day sharing the same last name and a connection deeper than biology, a connection of the heart, orchestrated by God...the spirit of adoption.

I look down at my forever daughter, no longer a foster child, but a real life daughter and one who will proclaim proudly to the listening world...

...I am Emma Gavin!

Song of Solomon: A Lesson in True Love

It's that time of year again. Love is in the air. The smell of perfume, chocolate and flowers announce to the world that Valentine's day is here again.

If you ask around, no one really has a clear cut answer as to how or when Valentine's day originated.
We just cumulatively know it has something to do with St. Valentine and his little minion, Cupid and we all agree that pink and red M&M's are yummy. Yet despite our solidarity, Valentine's day usually leaves many people lonely, cynical, and depressed.

The media and advertisers do their best each year to promote unrealistic expectations to single and married people alike, painting a false picture of love and focusing instead on all things materialistic and superficial.

I experienced this first-hand as I stood in the Valentine's day isle at Super Target while my children lovingly fought to the death over which character cards they had to have for their classmates.

Angry Bird Valentines? How..uh...ironically sweet.

I look around me and my breathing pattern starts to change. I suddenly feel late! It's a few days before February 14th and I realize that I must bake something pink with sprinkles for 75+ children....and while I'm at it I really should do a Valentine's theme Christmas tree...Oh, and I must take romantic couple pictures of Sean and I and some of the kids and mail 150 of them out to our closest friends and family members...Oh! and do not let me forget to blackmail someone into babysitting so we can go stand outside a restaurant, in the cold, for 2 hours holding a non-blinking coaster...

Oh Lord, I just need more time and money!!!!

Now do you want to know what I really love (no pun intended) about God?  I love how God can just reach down into my chaos and give me a word. And not just any word, a holiday themed word. Just for me for Valentine's day. God said, "Let me tell you a real love story...."

This story came from a message entitled "Just Another Kiss" by Missionary Brad Lambeth and he got his text from the book of Song of Solomon.

For those who are not Biblical-ly savvy, I will just announce that the book of Song of Solomon is, uh, the steamiest book of the Bible. When a preacher preaches from this book, he is very brave, to say the least.

Song of Solomon is a story about a beautiful young Shulamite girl who falls in love with a Shepherd boy and they are going to be married. However, word of her beauty reaches the ear of King Solomon and she is taken captive and brought to King Solomon. King Solomon wishes to make her one of his more than 700 concubines. The shepherd boy comes secretively to the palace and asks her to come away with him but the Shulamite girl is beginning to fall under the seduction of the King, and she refuses. When she realizes the Shepherd boy has left, she runs from the palace and asks the daughters of Jerusalem if they have seen her lover, the Shepherd boy. They jeer at her and she is taken captive once again. The story ends with her calling for her Shepherd boy to make haste and return to her.

Disclaimer: The amazing thing about the Bible is that almost every story has a direct correlation to Christ. Sometimes these parallels are harder to decipher. The Bible is a living document because it is God's word but it is a mystery to those who's spiritual eyes are not open. This is how God is able to reveal Himself to His people. That is also why people who are not born-again can not understand the Bible. God has to open your eyes to it and divinely reveal it to you. That is also why Jesus spoke in parables so that everyone, believers and unbelievers, could understand Him. All Bible stories have a face value and also a spiritual typology. 

We can all appreciate a good love story but nothing beats a love story written for YOU personally.

The Song of Solomon is a picture of Christ's love for his bride, The Church. 

Jesus is the Shepherd boy and the church is the Shulamite girl. Their love is pure and perfect. Jesus loves the church unconditionally, and they are going to be married one day, symbolic of the rapture.

Solomon represents Satan. He has all of the worldly wealth and prosperity and glamor and he has conquered many with offers of fame and lies.

The daughters of Jerusalem represent the fallen girls whom Satan has brought to His palace and wooed away with lies and empty promises, telling them they are beautiful and loved and special but just adding them to his collection. Nothing more than a conquest. They too had all once loved a Shepherd boy but they were blinded by all that the palace had to offer. This represents people who have turned away from the love of Christ and believed the lies of Satan. Women who have been told all their life that they must dress a certain way or adorn themselves a certain way in order to be accepted or loved. Empty, hollow lies that lead to death and captivity in the end.

Satan takes the bride of Christ into his kingdom and tries to lure her away from The Shepherd. The first thing the Shulimite girl says when she is taken to the palace is, "Let him kiss me with the kisses of His mouth, for thy love is better than wine." She reminisces of the love of her Shepherd. How many people who leave the church look back and think, "Oh if I could only feel the love of Jesus again!" Some do and some don't. Some are too enamored with the sights and sounds around them to even miss the life and the love they had.

The Shepherd pursues the Shulimite girl and calls to her through the lattice, offering to take her away and take her back. Jesus will never leave you side, he will always pursue you, even through the gates of hell, to take you back. However the Shulimite girl is beginning to fall under the spell and the Shepard leaves. The girl can feel the presence of her lover at the door, she knows he was there and she runs after Him, but He has left. She is ridiculed by the other concubines and her veil is torn off, a symbol of her glory being removed from her. The true colors of her choices are becoming clear. She cries out for her Shepherd and the story ends with her asking her lover to make haste and return to her. 

The Bible says in Isiah 55:6, "Seek the Lord while He may still be found." Such a beautiful portrait of Christ's love for us but also a tragedy. Knowing that it might be too late. 

I take this story as a personal reminder to myself, may I always remember the love of my Shepherd. When I am surrounded and tempted by the world telling me what I should be or how I should dress or offering me fame and prosperity, I want to remember His kiss. The feel of the presence of God on my life is all that matters. I want my beauty and value to be only in Christ. Christ loves me unconditionally and He says I am beautiful just the way he created me. The love of Christ for His church is pure. The world says I am beautiful only if I wear make-up, or cut and highlight my hair, or wear jewelery or have a nice figure, but these are all lies of Satan. Lies intended to trap you in his world. 

But there is a love story that spans generations. Written for people who are hurt, abused, neglected, abandoned and those left out of the Valentine's day celebrations because of the hand life has dealt them. Those who feel that they can never love or be loved again. it is also written for people who think they have it all together and have need of nothing. Everyone can experience the ultimate love story....the love story that began on a cross.

That's the Ticket: A Lesson in Mercy

It was a cool clear morning and I was zipping down the freeway near Barstow, on my way to work.

A wonderful sermon blasted through the speakers in my car.

My body may have been in the car driving, but my spirit was at a North Carolina Camp Meeting and it was awesome!

Out of the corner of my right eye, in the middle of the long stretch of desert landscape, I spotted a white tumbleweed with red and blue lights...pointing a radar gun at me!

Roh-oh.

I quickly and casually brake while glancing at my speedometer which had only decreased to 82 by the time I flew past the highway patrol car.

Immediately the patrol car cut off a big rig, jumped on the freeway, made 3 illegible lane changes and cruised right up behind me flashing his lights.

'MEEEEE??????" I shout to my rear view mirror in feigned indignation and surprise. "I'm only going 60 now!!!"

I pull over and come to a stop on the shoulder behind a second policeman issuing someone else a ticket.

How embarrassing. The row of shame.

The officer comes up to my passenger window.

Policeman: "You were caught speeding, give me your ID and registration and insurance." 

I give him my ID and open the glove box to search for my registration and insurance.

147 napkins spring up out of the glove box.

I begin to dig through them nervously and start tossing stuff on the floorboard as the policeman waits impatiently.

I realized this might be a good time for the officer to find Jesus and learn about mercy and forgiveness and grace so I leave the Camp Meeting sermon on and let it play while I dig through the glove box. After removing a diaper, I find the items he needed.

Policeman: Do you know how fast you were going?

Me: Uh, 82.

Policeman: Close, I got you at 85. Do you know what the speed limit is here?

Me: Let's go with 80.

Policeman: No, it is 70.

Me: Oh. Wow. That can't be good.

Policeman: Wait here. If you get cold you may roll up the window.

He walks around the car one time and comes back to the window. I turn up the sermon volume a tiny bit more.

Policeman: Where is your front licence plate?

Me: Um, I don't think the car came with one.

Policeman: How long ago did you purchase this car?

Me: About 3 years ago.

Policeman: Wait here.

Great.

I can't believe this is happening to me. I have never been ticketed, pulled over, arrested, cited, nothing!!!

I begin to strategize.

I've heard that a good way to get out of a ticket is to cry. Maybe if I start crying and I tell the officer that I have never had a ticket before, just maybe he will feel like a big bully and let me go. Men can not handle a crying woman.

I wait until I see him start to get out of his car and then I scrunch up my eyes and sniff a couple of times, trying to make some tears.

Nothing.

I think sad thoughts.

Little dead puppies....expired Joann's coupons....

Tap. Tap.

I roll down the window...dry eyed.

Policeman: Well Mrs. Gavin, I am going to write you a fix-it ticket for the front licence plate and this time I am just going to give you a warning about your speeding. I see here that you have a perfect driving record. 

Me: Yes sir, I am almost 32 years old and I have never had a ticket.

Impressed Policeman: Really? That is better than me.

Me: Oh, well, ok thank you sir! 

And that was the end of my ordeal! I felt so light! and freeee! and happy! and..forgiven!

I am now able to rustle up some tears as I thank God for my blessing.

I totally deserved the ticket yet I was given another chance to go out into the world and drive better, safer and slower.

I began to ponder how much more we have been forgiven by Jesus on the cross.

Jesus told a parable in Matthew 18:23 about a king that forgave a servant of his debt. After being forgiven, the servant went out and found someone who owed him money and had him put in prison until he could pay. When the king found out, he punished the servant who even after having been forgiven, did not in turn forgive as well.

This made me aware of how crucial it was to take this blessing and this forgiveness shown to me by the law and think about how I could show mercy to someone in the same way.

Sometime we Christian's are so quick to judge people by the rules and laws without thinking of their soul. Jesus was constantly challenging the religious rulers of His day because they were always accusing Jesus of breaking the law, when Jesus was concerned with healing and saving people. 

I feel God encouraging me to stop being so critical of other people and their actions. Praying for people and minding my own business instead of constantly dreaming up ways to help others straighten up.

The world doesn't need anymore correct people or people who have all the answers, but the world does needs more people who can be kind and listen and show mercy and forgiveness, reflecting the very essence of Jesus.

The Eye of God: A Lesson on Relationship with God

"Mommy, can I be done now?"

I look toward the little voice at my side, and see Jubilee asking to be finished with dinner. I glance at her plate and observe a variety of veggies, strategically pushed and smushed so they have the appearance of having been eaten.

Without saying a word, I look at Jubilee, look at the veggies, look back at Jubilee, raise one eyebrow and resumed eating.

Jubilee sighs dramatically, flops into her chair and begins to poke at her veggies once again.

This nightly ritual had little relevance to me until one day when I was listening to a sermon in the car on my way to work. Reverend Lee Stoneking was referencing Psalm 32:8. In this verse God is speaking and He says,

"I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye."

It is easy to understand how God is able to instruct and teach us. We have the Bible, and we have preachers and teachers that God places in our lives to speak His word and help us to get through our daily lives. When we decide to serve God, we know that the rest of our days will be filled with wonderful instruction because we strive everyday to be better than the day before and we can not grow without it.If we ever hope to be like Jesus, we need daily instruction.

Now the second half of this scripture is the part that is hard to fathom. 

God will guide us with His eye.

Not his spoken work, not His written word, but His glance. 

Just a look.

When I begin to think about how amazing it would be to know God enough and to be in tune enough to be guided by the eye of God, I am completely overcome.

How could I ever know the direction that God is looking or wants me to go?

I felt the answer impressed upon my heart as I pondered this concept.

Everyday of a Christian's life is a journey to become more like Jesus. 

In order to be like Jesus, we have to know Him. 

In order to learn about Him, we have to talk to Him and read about Him. 

For example, the more time you spend with someone, the more you get to know them. 

When you begin to get to know someone you are able to recognize their voice when they call you on the phone without them saying their name. When you know someone very well, you can then easily identify their likes and dislikes, their quirks and their habits. You know their dreams and their ambitions. People who are married for hundreds of years even begin to look like each other! By this time, they can read each others thoughts and when one dies, the other is sure to go. These people seem to be intertwined on a sub conscious level.

This is the depth of relationship that we should seek with God and the Bible says it is not impossible! It sounded unattainable until God reminded me about the veggie incident.

When Jubilee asked me if she could be done, No words were spoken yet Jubilee went away knowing what she had to do in order to be done. 

So how did Jubilee come to understand "the look'?

I am sure that most of it came from Jubilee knowing me well and by having an initial understanding that in our home, veggies need to be eaten before you can leave the table. Because she knew that already, and because we had told her that before on numerous occasions, and she knew what her "job" was, as soon as I looked at the veggies, it just confirmed to her what she already knew and understood. If I had looked over at Jeeves and back to Jubilee, she would have been confused and she probably would have thought I was giving her permission to feed the veggies to the dog.

So how can we find relevance with this example? When it comes to  God's "look" we know that God is a spirit, so we can't physically see Him eyeballing us. So how do we discern where he is looking?

This is only going to come from an established relationship with God. One where instruction has previously been given and one in where we know what God wants us to do and be. 

We can not see the wind blowing but we see the trees swaying. In this same way, we can look around and see where the move of God is and where we should be.

It is important for us to have an understanding of the direction of God.

In my personal walk, I feel that I am starting to be able to identify God's voice. 

If this were a relationship with another human, it would only be in the beginning stages! Yet I have  known God my entire life! When the Bible talks about sheep, it says that even the sheep know their Master's voice.  So what is the mystery is about hearing the voice of God? And why am I just OK with being able to recognize God's voice now and again?

I am not near as close to God as I would like to be, and for that reason, knowing that there will be a time in my relationship with God that I will know His so well that He will lead me with His eye, this gives me great hope and excitement. 

There is so much more that God wants to reveal to us as we get to know Him better. He has the most amazing things planned for us but we have to keep moving forward. 

I want every step I take to be in the will of God. I know that He alone hold the plan for my life and that without His guidance, I would never be able to find that plan on my own. My own will gets in the way of what God has for me and I want to be in the will of God at all times because it is only in the will of the God that you have His blessings on your life and His protection and His pleasure. I want the eye of God to look my way and be pleased with what He sees.

The Christmas Poem Collection: Christmas Poem 2008

Poem from 2008.

T'was a good year for health care, when in Target we shopped,

Alex tripped Jubilee and unconscious she dropped.

The ER was fun, so we returned the next day,

When Dylan dislocated his thumb during play,

Andres graduated and back to Ecuador he roamed,

Jacquelyn also graduated but she just came home.

Our new garage is a studio, smile and say, "Cheese!"

The vehicles sit outside so in the mornings we freeze.

Then the good times with Pulte suddenly stopped,

Sean now works on satellites that monitor rocks.

He writes out reports and takes samples of lead,

While the kids tell everyone he is an astronaut instead.

When what to our wippie soaked eyes did transcend?

Jubilee using the potty?

Our 7 years of diapering has come to an end!

The Boston's are multiplying, we have puppies each year,

And when Andres went home, Bloopy, the beta stayed here.

Life should be rosy for mommy right now,

But mommy had to drop out of her Master's program to work full time teaching preschoolers

who have the attention span of Jell-O and now she's too tired to and busy to bask in the lucid patterns of the unemployed day, let alone...

Sorry.

Quicker than Easy Mac the kids change and grow,

Dylan's 8, Jubilee's 3, Alex takes piano.

Jubilee can argue, Dylan wants MP3's,

Alex has 2 girlfriends, Oh, it's doom we foresee.

"Do your homework!", "Clean your room!" ,"You know bedtime is 8!"

"No gum till your 12", "There's still veggies on your plate"

"Get out of that tree! You're stuck? Oh well."

"Go ask your father why our dogs have no tails."

This year's brought us closer, closer to what I'm not sure,

But with Faith, Love and Patience, a New Year we'll endure!

Merry Christmas!

The Gavin Family

2008

The Christmas Poem Colletion: Christmas Poem 2007

The poems for 2005 and 2006 were either never written or they were lost.

Here is our family Christmas poem for 2007.

T'was a year for additions in household and dogs,

We acquired eight Boston's, Andres and Tom.

Sean was euphoric, he'd built his garage,

It holds all our junk, now we can't fit the cars.

The money ran out before the driveway was poured,

The kids ride their bikes on half concrete half boards.

Dylan's in 1st grade and Alex Pre-K,

Mommy takes pictures of Jubie all day.

Three kids are pleanty, a unanimous fact,

So Sean got "the surgery", and that took care of that.

When over the rooftop there arose some balloons,

Jubilee watched her binky fly off to the moon.

And what tidbit of info did Sean make quite clear?

Jacquelyn's nine years of college has procured no career.

But the end is in sight for Jacquelyn's B.A.

Spanish II and Algebra then graduation in May? (yay!)

So away to Ojai we went to relax

We un-wined and we dined, Pulte picked up the tab.

Our skin's a lot softer, we had time to rest,

First Hawaii then Ojai, we're feeling quite blessed!

Our sippie cup overflows, we have more than we need,

More mess, more debt, more chaos, more weeds.

Quicker that lightning the days come and go,

How we get through them, alive, I don't know.

"Help Sean!" "No Jubilee!" "Dylan and Alex, don't yell!"

"Jeeves, spit that out!" "Bijou, what is that smell!!?"

"Don't make me come in there!!" We shout till we're blue,

But in our indoor voice we say...

Merry Christmas to You!

2007

The Christmas Poem Collection: Christmas Poem 2004

In the year of 2004 at a family Christmas party, we were all challenged to write our life to the tune of a Christmas song as part of a game. This launched a yearly tradition for our family, and since 2004, we have been writing a song or poem every year at Christmas time. I thought it would be fun to share these past poem with you. While reading back through them, I personally forgot that half this stuff even happened! So for your enjoyment, here is the poem that started it all. Read in the style of "T'was the Night Before Christmas", here is The Gavin's poem for 2004.



T'was a fight over Sean's mess, cause all through the place,
Drywall was flying, walls were erased.
The couch was now stuccoed, the Dry Waller gone,
All that remained was chaos and Sean.
The bathtub was burried in the backyard with care,
The unfinished projects loomed in the air.

The children were growing too large for their beds,
Dylan whacked AJ over the head.
While Jacquelyn sold Fabtech and Sean barked commands,
To all of the framers working his land.

When in frount of Lot 18 there arose a loud clatter,
Sean threw his Nextel and leaped over a ladder.
And what to his bloodshot eyes did he see?
But an oversized forklift atop his Chevy.

The insurance paid, he rebuilt his truck,
With a sigh he proclaimed, "Now my truck dosen't suck!"
So away to LA we flew like a flash,
To the searing hot laser and the depletion of cash,
Our tattoos are fading, but there's an absence of noice,
Our minds are now racing, "Who's watching the boys?"

With so many grammies, some wrinkly, some thick,
We forgot for a moment which Grammy we'd picked.
More rapid than lightning the days and events came,
Each one needing a sitter, or chain.

To counceling! To Taekwondo! To T-Ball! To class!
To dinners! To churches! To mentoring! Alas!
Our apologies for leaving now, but in a hurry we are,
Merry Christmas to everyone, can you please move your cars?

The Gavin Family
2004