In August of 2009, after God spoke to me in the car, I began to search my heart to better understand what our motives were for adopting.
People generally reacted to our plan with puzzlement, why would we adopt when we could have and already had children? Like adoption was supposed to be used as a last resort.
I had a hard time putting my motives into words...in a way I wanted to do something lifelong and meaningful before I died. Something that ideally, would change the life of another person for the good. I knew we had the capacity to love a child that was not biologically ours and so I felt it would be a waste to not act upon that love. We also knew God has blessed us with the room and finances to add another child so I don't think our motives were ever a result of trying to keep up with other families who had adopted because Angelina Jolie had been making adoption quite a trend around this time. I prayed constantly, "Lord, let our motives be pure, and if they are not, then prevent this from happening."
We knew God would guide us to the best path but if God knew, in his infinite wisdom, that I was mentally incapable of caring for another child, possibly one with special needs, then I wanted God 's will and not my own to be done.
In the last part of August 2009, I got a new job working with special needs children. I met my friend, and at that time, my supervisor Cristal. Even though she was my supervisor, we became close and chatted about many things.
On October 13, 2009, while we were waiting for a home visit to begin, I casually mentioned to Cristal that we had wanted to adopt and I briefly vented to her about our frustrations with CPS. While I was still complaining, Cristal's entire face brightened up and she interrupted me in her excitement. "My niece just called me a few days ago asking me to take her baby!" Cristal said.
"Oh yah?" says me.
"Yes!" She continues. "She is not really my niece, but a girl I have known since she was a child. She looks up to me as an aunt. She has used drugs since she was a young girl and she is still using drugs and she is just not capable of taking care of her poor baby. Her boyfriend, the baby's daddy, is getting out of prison and he is abusive so the mama, in fear for the baby's safety, is trying to find someone who will take care of her baby for a while. She sounds desperate but I couldn't take the baby when she called me and I felt bad that I had to tell mom no, but now that you mentioned to me that you have room in your home, then I can call her and tell her I have found someone who can take her baby! And who knows? Maybe she will let you adopt her!"
"Uh...ok. Um...Do you know how old the baby is and if it a boy or girl?" I ask.
"Its a girl, she is probably about 5 or 6 months old right now. I think her name is Summer. Mom used drugs throughout her pregnancy, but the baby doesn't seem to have any developmental problems. She makes good eye contact and she is meeting all her milestones."
"Well." I say. "Wow. Imagine that. That is just awful, I hope the baby is OK."
Cristal, who was demonstrating way more enthusiasm at this point than I was, continues on, "I am going to call her. The minute we are out of this visit, I am going to call her back and see if CPS has taken the baby yet and I'm going to tell her I found a home for her baby and talk to her about you and your family and maybe she will make the choice to let you care for the baby, because she knows she can't take care of herself right now. That's just what I am going to do! I'm so glad you said something!"
I was really thinking, "ok, you do that" but I smiled politely and pretended that I was remotely optimistic. I had first hand knowledge of how CPS worked, and I knew for sure that no one had ever got a baby this way. It sounded borderline illegal. If those CPS women found out I was stealing some lady's baby, they would probably prosecute us!
True to her word, Cristal called the mom back but the number was disconnected. She took it a step further and went to her old apartment. The mom had moved.
I thanked Cristal for trying and pretty much put the incident out of my mind. It was what I expected it to be, a far fetched plan that would never pan out. I called Sean and jokingly told him the conversation, but Sean was more interested that I thought he would be. I wrote him off as being crazy too.
Cristal, in the meantime, did not give up. She called old friends and left messages to have the mom call her. Weeks went by and Cristal ran into some of the mom's friends. They reported that the mom had left baby Summer with them for several days and they finally made her come get the baby and take her back, but a short time later, the mom was calling them back and asking them to take Summer again because she wouldn't stop crying. We heard that the mom and baby were homeless and staying with random friends. We heard that the dad was back in prison for beating up the mom but no one could provide a number or an address to contact her. We heard that mom was still heavily using drugs.
At this point, Sean and I were mildly interested in the story because we could only imagine what the baby must be going through and we hoped that she was safe and not being abused. We prayed for this unknown baby Summer and we went on with our daily routines.
Then one Sunday afternoon, on November 15th, 2009, Cristal called me.
"Summer's mom called me!!" Cristal says. "I have her number and her address now, she needs help and food and the baby is sick and she has no warm clothes, but mom wants to meet you, so do you want to come with me right now to where she is staying in Adelanto? We can stop at Wal-Mart on the way to buy her some stuff and then we can go talk to her, do you want to come along?"
"Uh, sure, I guess we can do that." I say.
I grab my keys and tell the family I'm going to run to Wal-Mart and I will be back in a bit.
"Take the Expedition..It has the car seat." Sean jokes as I head out the door.
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