The Wal-Mart Baby: Chapter 4

Just recently Dylan's teacher called us in for our annual parent/teacher conference. We sat down across from him and exchanged pleasantries before he got down to business. "Mr. and Mrs. Gavin, your son has been telling us all a very interesting story. Dylan claims that you got his baby sister from Wal-Mart. Is this true??" Sean and I look at each other and we begin to laugh.....

November 15th, 2009

I arrived home that Sunday afternoon and carried Baby Summer into the house. The kids exploded with excitement. "You got us a baby!!??" "Cool!!!" "What's her name?" "Can we keep her?" "Put her down! I want to hold her!" "Can she sleep in my room?" 
I had not told the children anything about Summer, and so all they knew was that I had gone to Wal-Mart and returned with a baby.

Sean and I just looked at each other. 

I smiled my best get-out-of-trouble smile.

Sean gave me "the look".

First things first. 

"We need to go to Target."  I say.

We had long ago given away all of Jubilee's baby items knowing that if I got pregnant again, the least of my worries would be buying all new baby stuff. 

I began to make some phone calls and within a short amount of time, friends and family began to flood us with much needed items. A crib was procured, baby clothes, baby toys and crib bedding arrived at our house. We loaded up all 4 kids into the truck for the first time, Summer still screaming, and we went to Target to purchase basic essentials. We left there spending over $300.00 just buying the bare minimum of baby items. Unlike a traditional pregnancy, we had to go from 0 to baby in a few hours instead of 9 months.

That evening was an absolutely exhausting, emotional ride. We both worked and suddenly I had to secure childcare for an extra child. We had people calling and bringing baby stuff over all evening. Our front room was filled with items as we tried to rearrange Jubilee's bedroom to fit another crib and dresser. Summer was trying to adapt to our dogs, which frightened her, and our children who smothered her. Summer's mother called that evening, several times, and she sounded drunk. She insisted on talking to Summer on the phone and she was wondering why Summer was crying so much. I told her she was still in pain from her diaper rash and infection and I would take her to the doctor tomorrow.

I had an idealistic picture of bedtime and I looked forward to the moment that we could give Summer a bath, dress her in her new soft pajamas and just rock her to sleep with a bottle. I wanted to hold her close and transfer peace to her troubled little system. I imagined looking into her gray eyes, stroking her soft cheek and telling her that she was safe now and that we loved her. I imagined her looking back into my eyes with thanksgiving, adoration and love.

 That daydream was extremely short lived. 

Summer had no interest in being cuddled, sang to, swaddled, touched or held. She arched her back and became stiff and irritated whenever we tried to hold her. She had probably always been forced to self-sooth herself and so rocking and being held by an adult was completely foreign to her. She would not hold still even for a minute, she was constantly moving. I made her an 8 oz. bottle and she drank it in a few minutes and cried for more. We quickly realized that she was in the habit of drinking multiple bottles whenever she cried.  She had no concept of being full. She seemed overweight for her age and she was unable to regulate her eating. She did not know when she was full. At this rate, her formula powder would be gone by morning. She was incapable of sleeping through the night without several bottles and she would not take a pacifier or respond positively to being held or rocked. We bought medicine for her bottom but she still wailed and flipped out whenever we changed her diaper.

It was a very long night. We finally brought Summer into our bed because the other kids could not sleep with her constant squealing. She woke up more times than any newborn in history and every time she wanted a bottle.

The reality of what we were doing had begun to sink in and I was very concerned about the legal aspect of us taking Summer in. I certainly did not want to involve CPS and risk reminding them of Mr. Spoon, but we did not want to get into trouble either. Ironically, my mom found "The Guardianship Book for California" in her collection of stationary stuff. She couldn't remember why she had even held onto it for so long, but it just happened to have all of the documents needed to file for guardianship and the rules and rights concerning these topics. I decided to begin documenting everything at this point in case we needed to "cover our assets".

The narrative of the next four days are from my original journals.

Monday, November 16th, 2009....

Today I called Summer's doctor and told them I was going to be bringing Summer in for her doctor appointment. They said she had an appointment already scheduled for Thursday. Summer's mom called this morning asking how Summer was doing. I called her back in the evening and mom asked if she could have Summer back for the weekend. I reminded her about church and so she asked if she could have Summer on Friday night and Saturday instead. I reluctantly agreed. Feeling anxious, I called Cristal and she gave me some encouragement, reminding me that this was the moms choice. I felt relieved that mom did not know where we lived and only had my phone numbers. I told Cristal I wanted to speak to a lawyer just for peace of mind. I am still very uncertain and so I guess we will just try to give Summer the best possible care while she is here. I'm afraid mom will not bring Summer back Saturday night. Only a few close family and friends know what is going on, everyone else thinks we are babysitting for a sick mom.

Tuesday, November 17th, 2009

First thing this morning, Cristal calls me and says that after much prayer, she feels it would not be wise to let mom take Summer for the weekend. She said she would call mom and tell her that I will take her and Summer out for the day on Thursday instead, and we can go to the doctor together. While I was at work, Summer's mom called the house repeatedly and my mom, who was babysitting for me, talked to her at length, witnessing to her about Jesus and giving her words of hope. The mom said she had been out all day recycling for money to buy cigarettes. Later that night, Cristal called me wondering if I had told the mom that she could have Summer from Thursday to Sunday. I had said no such thing. Cristal called mom and reminded her that it was not safe for Summer to be with her while she was using drugs and drinking. While this conversation was taking place, mom was drinking as she talked to Cristal and she was having a party with some strange men. Mom begins to whine like a child who is told NO and Cristal reminds her that she will see Summer on Thursday. Mom reluctantly agrees. Last night Summer woke up many times and remained awake from 4am onward. Summer has huge aversions to being in a car seat. She will not sooth and she refuses to be in a high chair or anything that restrains her. We bought Summer some pacifiers but she hates them. We bought her a Bumbo seat and she hates that too. Summer's mom called the house three times today while I was at work. I am taking her out to lunch on Thursday and then to Summer's doctor appointment.

Wednesday, November 18th, 2009

Mom finally stopped calling last night. Summer went to bed without a bottle and she only woke up 5 times last night. Mom called at 1pm. Summer had been trying to pull to standing and had fallen down and she began to cry while mom was on the phone. Mom was angry and when I asked her if she was ready to go out to lunch tomorrow, she became even madder and she said we promised her she could have Summer on the weekend and now we were trying to keep her baby from her. She said she was going to take Summer for the entire day Thursday and spend the day with her own friends and go out without me. She blamed Cristal for taking Summer away from her just because "she had 2 beers". I tried to sooth her by saying that Cristal was concerned for Summer's protection and we were making progress with her night time routines and it would be best to keep them the same. Mom said she didn't need me to help her and she could protect Summer just fine. I tried to mollify her without success, because she seemed to be high on something. I hung up and had Cristal call her and when she did, mom was riding around on her bicycle "playing chicken" with cars in the middle of the road. Cristal agreed that we had to let mom take Summer on Thursday, and so I got directions to the new place mom was staying at and mom was back to being sweet and cordial again. Mom decided Summer did not need to go to the doctor so she canceled her appointment for Thursday. I asked mom if she needed me to bring Summer's stroller with me for her outing on Thursday but she said she already had one.  Summer has a lot of clothes now thanks to friends and family. Today Summer was riding in her car seat without crying! Later on in the evening, the mom called and said a CPS social worker would be picking up mom and baby on Thursday morning and driving them down the hill for a check up. Mom wanted to make sure I had Summer delivered to her apartment in the morning looking well cared for. She said she got a letter from Summer's daddy in the mail and he said to tell his baby he loved her and he would see her soon and mom is back with him again. I tell all this to Cristal and she apologizes that it doesn't seem to be working out as well as we had hoped. I am beginning to emotionally back out of this whole mess. Unless God does a miracle, I think this mom will just end up back with Summer and her looser, abusive boyfriend and I just don't want to be used and waste money and resources on a child who still has a mother who cares for her, even in a dysfunctional way. 

Thursday, November 18, 2009

Early this morning, mom calls and tells me the social worker is at the apartment and I need to get Summer over there as soon as possible. She said the worker wants to meet me. Mom tells me this long, confusing story about a confrontation between the CPS worker and the guy who owns the apartment and how the cops were called out and CPS wants to know where the baby is and so I better get over there now. Mom says I better not tell the CPS worker that I have been taking care of Summer. I call Cristal and we both agree that this is the perfect time to tell CPS everything that has happened and Cristal warns me to not cover for the mom, to show CPS the letter and to tell them everything that mom has been doing. I have a suspicion that I won't be seeing Summer again, so I pack her enough food and clothes to last her several days. Something tells me to keep her medical card, social security card and the original letter mom wrote. I get over to the mom's apartment in Apple Valley and it was the most hazardous, disgusting place I have ever seen. A creepy looking man that resembled Jabba the Hutt was puddled in a corner of the dark room, and there was scrap metal and demolished wood pieces all over the floor and backyard. The back sliding door was shattered and broken glass was everywhere. A mangy dog roamed around the rubble. Mom immediately grabbed Summer out of my arms and began to whine to me about how its my fault that Summer is in the system and I better not tell CPS that Summer was with me, and she said that for my information, CPS allows her to drink and so she will be allowed to keep Summer without my help now. I dialed Cristal's number without saying anything and handed the phone to mom. Cristal began to try and rationalize with her and mom got more agitated, setting Summer down on the floor in the glass and debris. I quickly picked her up and changed her dirty diaper while mom ranted and cried on the phone to Cristal. When she hung up, I asked where the CPS worker was who was supposed to be there and mom acted as if she had no clue what I was talking about. She told me to leave Summer's stuff there and to go away and she would call me to come get Summer at 5pm.

2:00 pm that same day...

Called mom to see if the social worker had arrived yet. Mom said she was currently down the hill with the CPS worker in the doctor office. She said she had to go take care of Summer now and she hung up.

5:00 pm....

Called mom to see if she was home yet. Phone is turned off. Called Cristal. Debating on calling CPS.

5:30 pm...

Mom won't answer Cristal's calls either. Cristal counsels me to just follow my heart, and it's up to me if I want to just let it go now or pursue it. Sean and I decide to call CPS and file a report, telling them everything.

Summer was gone.  
Even though I had done my best to guard my heart and I tried not to get attached to her or allow myself to believe that this crazy plan would have worked out, Sean and I were both devastated. So many people had invested their love and generosity by bringing us things for Summer and embracing her into our family. Now she was gone and I felt like a complete failure all over again. Sean and I sat on the couch, looking at all the baby paraphernalia Summer left behind and we held our confused children and wept.